I'm fAlling apart so bad right now and I'm all alone. I don't have anyone to talk to. Of course I have my family, my siblings, but they won't get it. Know one will understand this empty feeling I have inside. I don't know how to fix it. And I don't even know if there is a reason. That's why it's hard to talk to anyone. Because even I don't understand what is happening to me.
I wake up just feeling so icky and depressed. Thankfully, lately, the weather has been amazing! And it puts me in a good mood. Everyday I wake up with the hope that today will be a good day and it has been starting out that way lately. But then as the day goes on, it kind of goes down hill. Nothing good happens. I don't get to see the one person I want to see the most.
Growing up, I had the best group of friends. All the way through high school. Now in college, I haven't had a consistent group of friends. And I don't know how to deal with it. It tore me apart first semester when I was losing everyone and I felt so alone. This semester has been better. I am getting really close with Maranda who I knew from last year but we weren't close. But the only thing I'm worried about is last year I got close with someone and now this year we don't even talk. Stupid stuff happened and now it sucks. So I'm just so worried that I'm going to lose everyone again.
That's all for now. I can't keep going on about this. This all sucks but I still try to find some sliver of good. It's hard but I can't still smile at when I think of th r good times with this girl and her amazing smile and laugh. I am so sad but one day I won't be, right?
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